Have you ever been in love?
by DreamingUPnightmareS
Summary: Dan is in an abusive relationship and Phil is the ray of sunshine in his miserable life. Starts of OC/Dan ends Phan.


Have you ever been in love?

I'd say 3 times, maybe once couldn't be classed as real love. The second time was but it wasn't happy love. The third time was the best time ever. Real, true, requited love which is the best feeling ever. - Dan Howell.

So I based it off this quote, and kinda took it to the extreme version of what was said (This never happened I don't think) but yeah its OC but it will eventually become phan. Enjoy!

I glanced around the room staring at our stuff spread our across the floor. The mirror was smashed showing only soft cracks in it, that were trying to outline my face. My clothes where heaped up in a pile with holes in them after having a fight with the scissors.

I pushed my self up feeling the trickle of blood roll down my forehead. Taking a deep breathe I got up brushing the dust off my jeans and walking over to my clothes picking up one of my tops that was just a rag now, and dabbing my head with it.

It stung making me hiss at the pain. Our bed had blood staining the mattress and our wardrobe door had fell off its hinges. I wasn't surprised. I heard small cries coming from the kitchen, sobbing silently while murmuring stuff under there voice. I followed the cries wandering into the kitchen, trying not to fall over due to the blow to my head.

Eva sat there hugging her teddy bear tight. I bought it for her the first day we met, and it was her go to bear when it got bad. She loved to whisper stuff to it when she thought I was sleeping, telling him how her day had been and how she was feeling. It was sad to think that she would rather tell that fucking bear than me, but on some level I understood.

I sat down beside her glancing down at her cut wrists watching as the blood dripped off her shirt and onto the wooden flooring. I grabbed her arm kissing her cuts and lifting her head up with the tip of my finger. Her soft brown curls fell down past her shoulders as she flickered up her emerald green eyes to look at me. Her pale complexion was ruined by masscara that and dripped down her face as she bit her lip slightly shaking. She was cold to touch and made me sudden at the sudden temperature.

I loved her so much.

She fell into my embrace hugging me for dear life as tears rolled Helplessly down her face and I couldn't help to smile sweetly to myself. We argued a lot. This time was about money as I went out and got pissed yet again and spent it all. I came home to her screaming her head off at me about how irresponsible I was and how I was destroying her. I pushed past her making my way into the kitchen calling her a bitch as I did so, thats when she smacked me round the face the pain spreading across my face like wildfire.

I reacted back shoving her into the wall at great speed her head smacking the concrete hard. She bit me running for a pint glass that was in the side and then smashing me over the head with it, the glass spreading across the very ground we where both now sat on. I manged to run up into the bedroom throwing the bedside lamp at her head and watching his smash against the wall instead. That's when she picked up a chair and threw it has hard as possible at my head. That's when I blacked out and woke up... I don't know how long later.

I fucking hated her.

But God did I love her.

To Phil.

Hey so today I made it out with a knock on the head but I'm okay you? X

To Dan.

Dan this has to stop this isn't good for either of you... And I'm doing fine lost my house keys though :/ x

To Phil.

Hahaha why am I not surprised you idiot! And I know but what can you do? X

To Dan.

Be safe. Please. X

To Phil

Don't worry about me you stress head :p x

I placed my finger on the edge of my cup, tracing the rim slowly sighing deeply to myself. It was a cold frosty morning and I had brought a quilt for a ride to the kitchen, in which I sat there watching my cornflakes drowned. It was Monday and I really wasn't feeling it.

I didn't feel the need to talk to her the next day. I never did we just pondered about the house not saying a word to eachother all the time and pretending that everything way okay.

We never looked at eachother.

We never spoke to eachother.

We never fucked eachother.

We never even stayed in the same room as eachother for more than 5 minutes.

That's why we both caused arguments, it gave us a reason to communicate. Today wasn't a good day as I rummaged through my draws looking for any undamaged clothing.I manged to find one crappy top and just put on the jeans I was wearing the previous day. I wandered downstairs to see her sweeping up the glass from the floor before reaching for her coat. She threw it on walking towards the door in quite a hurry. I ran after her grabbing her hair trying to pull her back to me.

"where are you going?" I asked as she gave me a dead glare.

"To see my friend kayleigh now get the fuck off me before I break your arm" I realesed my grip allowing her to walk freely out the door as I knew she wasn't bluffing.

"Have fun!" SLAM! The door shut behind her. I saw this as a opportunity, she didn't like me talking to phil. She didn't like me talking to anyone. I ran upstairs into the bedroom and pulling up the chair that she had launched at me the day before and standing on it to get to the back of the wardrobe. I was tall enough to reachit but it was just easier to us the chair.

I pulled out a phone from the back smiling at it as I jumped off the chair, and started to compose a text to phil. I met him over the Internet and we used to spend hours talking to eachother about random crap. She found out about him and accused me of cheating even though she knew they was no way we could get to eachother without her noticing, and ended up smashing my phone up and breaking my arm.

I smashed her laptop up for that one.

So when it was time for me to get a new phone I settled for getting 2, one that she could look at and one for me to message phil on. I jumped on the bed laying my head against the soft pillow, while smiling softly to myself.

To Phil.

Hey you! X

To Dan.

Hey how are you :p x

Phil was sweet. He lifted me up when times where grey bringing colour to my dull world. He knew how bad mine and Evas relationship was and had begged me to leave many times. He said it wasnt just for my safety but for hers aswell as I was just as violent towards her as she was to me. He had a fair point on that one. I just told all the soppy shit on how I loved her and couldn't be without her and I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes at the texts but they were true. I didnt know how to breathe without her. Phil was my escape for it all, she had the teddy I had phil.

To Phil.

Doing okay you? X

To Dan.

I smashed my head on the door frame walking into a lecture today so I feel like it's a sign today isn't gonna be a smashing day. X

I giggled slightly at my phone at his clumsiness.

To Phil.

What do you mean won't be a smashing day you have already smashed your head once x

To Dan.

Wow. Funny aren't you. X

To Phil.

I like to think I am yes. X

She got home hours later slamming the door shut behind her and making her way into the living room. I jumped up from my spot whispering goodbye to phil as I put the phone back on top of the wardrobe. I heard her kick off her heels as she shouted up for me.

"DAN!" I ran down stairs swinging round the edge of the door to see her stood there tears dripping down her face. I was to used to seeing her like that.

"What's wrong?" I asked unsure if I should take a step towards her or not. I didn't know how to react to her being sad unless I was the one causing her pain. I hated to admit that but it was true. I didnt want her to cry.

She took a deep breathe preparing herself "My dad... died." I ran towards her holding her as tight as I could allowing her to sob into my shoulder staining my shirt with her mascara. Her knees fell weak as I caught holding her as if we had just got married, her dress flowed past my knees. She was shaking uncontrollably, her finger nails digging into my back.

This was my fault. She wasn't allowed to see her family because of me. They banned her for coming to any family events if I was to come with her. The women beater they would associate me as, which to be honest I found extremely sexist given that she was allowed to attack me but not vise versa. Of course no one should be attacking anyone but sometimes I wanted to fucking strangle her. I had tried.

I manged to carry her to bed laying her down on the pillow and tucking her into the covers. This was my que to leave. I glanced at her closing her eyes gently and made my way slowly towards the door. She was pretty when she slept not that I was gonna let her know that.

"Dan come to bed" my eyes widened in shock. She wanted me there with her!? I nodded slightly "Ermm yeah sure" I manged to croak out, walking sheepishly towards the bed. I climbed in laying down and closing my eyes quickly, maybe if I fell asleep quickly I wouldn't annoy her. That was when I felt her hand place gently onto of mine as she turned to face me, her face red from crying.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
